我快要崩溃了。。 

真的要被逼疯了。。。

一个人过的日子，真的很难受，， 

为什么你就是没有办法了解我呢？

   

My righteous nap after blogging.. led me into a long 11 hours sleep.. hahaa! I skipped dinner and slept from 3.30pm till the very next morning at 2am. And thats because I got to get up for work, or else I would have slept till 9am or perhaps noon. 

Wake up, wash up, cereal, pray for journey mercy, drive to work..

'work... break... work..find more work...avoid big boss...sub for break...trainning.. home.' 

Funny as it seems, trainning session is every day at BPI, and its not exactly trainning at all. If i can change it, i'll call it the bitching session. Our QA superintendent use that 10 minutes to bitch at whatever he doesn't sees fit.. Oh well.. so far he hasn't bitch about me yet but I know will not allow him a single chance to do so. * wink*

One good news today... I finally got my driver license!! YAY!! celebrate!! but.... with who?... =(

maybe with the TV, or the Trampoline...

life in McCook Lake

mundane.....

I tried to make it as interesting as possible by planning on running, cooking, baking, trampolin-ing, grocery shopping.. but unfortunately, none of them work out really well. Something went wrong with the weather here. it feels like late winter, im still experiencing those low 50F during noon. Besides, working in BPI is as if you work in a freezer, i wore two sweat shirt to work today and I froze! i'll try 3 or maybe 4 sweat shirts tomorrow. Hopefully they'll keep me warm. 

Burrr.....

Work experience in BPI is getting better by days.. First day was hell for me, i remembered I remembered whinning a lot about it back then but now, I learned to appreciate all the difficulties I 've been through in understanding my job, a QA responsibilities in BPI. Its not easy, its a pretty tough job, long hours, no weekend off sometimes, and wierd working hours. I worked 4am till 1pm. B shift work noon till 9pm, and C shift continues from 8pm till 5am. I will have to rotate with other interns, in which means by the end of the 10 weeks, i'll will experience all 3 shifts. 

This is my second week of work. I'm still thinking if i want to work longer than 10 weeks. I might I think. Its real good money.. heheehe =P No rest this week.. I'll have to go work till sunday and then back to the vicious cycle of monday to saturday.. I hope I wont have to work next sunday, so at least I could visit ames and hug somebody.. *wink*

No one will be here this week, i'll be ALL alone.. Jeff will be back in Omaha, and Tom will be out in Rapid city taking his military exam. I will be hm... watching all the DVDs in the house, Trampoline whenever, do laundry, run maybe, etc..etc...  I'll see. Maybe i'll just end up sleeping whole day.. 

hehe..

already, my contacts are itching, i better go get some righteous nap up in HERE!

Zzzzzzzz....................

Hola, mi nombre es Rachel Gan y soy de Malasia. Soy interno del QA en el BPI para el verano.

Niza Para satisfacerla todo.

我终于办到了！！

没有东西是不可能的。。

原本一点勇气也没有的我， 竟然能够办得到！

没有东西是环境逼不出来的。。

因为环境所逼， 我竟然能够一个人开3个小时的车， 到工作的地方！

我成功了！我终于摆脱了驾车的恐惧感！

这都要谢谢我非常用心的指导老师，我的男朋友... :)

Thankyou!! 

Ames Outings

I chose to spend the long weekend in Ames and I think its a very smart decision. This weekend is 3 days of no control over food consumption, no limits on movies I want to watch plus a lot of driving.--

I turned into a couch potatoes immediately after I woke up from my long night sleep. I remain seated on the same chair, bingeing on Lays potato chips while catching up with all episodes of The Hills I missed during finals. That was the most relaxing time ever! series marathon then was followed up by watching 'knowing'. 

knowing

(skip)

Star Trek 

was sooooo Goood! I thought I'll never liked it.. Well, based on my previous encounter with star trek they showed on TV when I was young, I thught the plots were silly and characters simply sucks. I always thought they were the star wars wannabe. However, star trek 2009 was just Great! No long dialogues, just enough actions at all right timing to make you want to long for more! The language, the way they phrase the sentence, the essence of insult (hahahah!) was way superb. 

Well, maybe I'm just easily amazed but go watch it. Its worth the cash =)

Two wonderful weekend and today is memorial day. I'm going to Walmart and buy some socks then maybe head to the mall and exchange some free gifts. Jordan Creek shopping was a failure... All I got was just a pair of sun glasses from forever 21. Its not like they dont have nice looking clothes but I realized I dont need them actually. My work doesnt require me to look fancy, I might as well save some cash for air ticket to visit home or Rome :) 

5 Hours more in Ames.. and I'll have to go back to South Sioux City.. Sleep at 7pm and wake up at 2.30am ready for work at 4am. I might have to go through some lectures tomorrow for last minute notice of not turning up for work on Saturday. Well, bring it on. I'm sure to impress you all later. 

The only thing now is.. 

Man.. I got to drive back to work All By Myself.. and eat alone, sleep alone, watch series alone.. 

I got to plan up something, maybe go running in the park, see some deers, learn spanish from BPI workers, and look around if someone in the neighbourhood wants me to teach chinese language.. hhehehehe... Maybe some extra cash up in here... :P

most important thing, I got to start the self- assigned project, and work on the proposal. Hopefully I'll do wonders with it~~ 

last but not least.. 

ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY TODAY! 

just wanna say thank you very much for always being there for me.. Taking care of me.. Just don't worry about me. I will take care of myself in Sioux City. My heart will always be with you even though mario lopez in standing in front of me =) 

I will always love you.. Just like you do... 

AMES

Back in Ames!! 

Apparently due to memorial day, all Iowa transportation center are closed..

which means to me:

1) I skipped work for nothing

2) I have got no choice but to take my driver license in Sioux City.

3) I learned my mistake this time, and will remember to check online for operating hours instead of making an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. Now when I head back to work, i'll have to apologize to Scott, and Tomalyn and get 2 merit points for late notification. 

Greeaaatt.....

I can't help to feel bitter, but again, what is done IS done. Instead of looking back and feel really dumb about my doings, just look forward to see how to enjoy myself to the fullest in Ames! =) I'm really happy to be back 'home', all the old faces makes me feels warm at heart. Some really good updates too! Such as, Zi ting's belly got bigger as if he is 4 months pregnant. His baby should be a mix match of steak, coke, chips, beef jerky, spagetthi etc etc.. urgh... 

10 weeks internship has begun and I've live through the first week. First day was almost hell for me but things are getting better. I got to know more people, the white hats, brown hats and most importantly, I finally knew the dark side of this company. The Big Boss sucks, never smiles and hates QA. So far, I had never been yelled at, but I heard that he is always yelling at everyone and he will fire just anyone if he doesnt sees fit. He came to the plant yesterday intended to test the new disinewers, and everyone went NUTZ on the radio. 'He is here, look busy!!' or 'Get out of the QA lab, he doesn't like to see people there!!' so Tomalyn  and I decided to hide ourself at the dock, or behind those beef so theres no way he can see us. =)

At some point, I think its really hillarious when I see how these people are sweating and panicking on his arrival. It almost reminds me on how I always avoid Chan and makes myself seems busy while working in the cafe. well, except that no one really listens to him.. 

oh well, maybe this IS the industry, finally got a glimpse of what office politics are like, how communication can be really bad, how QA job in SSC  is really a challenge..  There is not a difinition for a QA position, I thought I prefered the lab work where you can be in snowy white frock, looking all tidy and clean.. but wouldn't that job sucks after a while? It will be so mundane! I had rather this experience of walking around the entire plant to do hourly, test and swab, interact with people than with test tubes.. It did sound really bad for the first time, and I even thought that this is labor but it really depends on how one perceives it.  At least now I know that at the end of this ten weeks, QA experience is not just what I will recieve, but experience with huge machines, multicultural community, and perhaps some jalepeno and tacos. 

uh oh.. laptop batt is dying and stomach is growling.. hm... I think I'm going to solo drive to walmart and do a little shopping. Some milk and cereal will make my day =) 

Already.

Internship 2nd day: Getting into REAL business!

Sometimes, it seems things are planned well by God. When I'm fearful, God puts someone near me to advise me, to give me motivation, bring back my courage.. Thank God for putting me in a very caring family, thank God for bringing to me my boyfriend, Teng Foong and Tom (the house owner, who had at least brought me up for a walk, breathe in some fresh air and talk with me how his experience at the military had made him stronger.)

first day of work was hard, difficult, dirty and heavy. At a point when I looked at my own reflection, I don't see myself, i see a lady construction worker. My hard head, heavy radio, flash lights in my pocket makes me look just like a construction worker. So off I go, to do my first round with Tamolyn (my own QA Trainer)at 4am in the morning. CIP was going on at that time, those chemicals and air vapor was all over the the facilities. All these crap was sniffed in, stuck in my nasal system till 7am. I had enough of it till 7am, I'm not a quitter but if I sense that I'm going to pass out anytime soon, I definitely notify someone! So I was sent to the nurse and soon found out that I am s little hypersensitive to those chemicals and we sat and talk about 20 minutes. But i'll make it short for you, her conclusion of that 20 minutes pointless talk is: 'if you want this job, you have to put up with it'

nuff' said.

I got the message,like i said, i am not a quitter and so I walked my way to the plant again and be ready to pick up a whole new challenge. More and More and More challenges.. From getting all beef juice sprinkled on your face, walking through the world-wettest-facilities carefully to avoid falling, carrying 60 lbs boxes for test, climbing up and down to check sanitation, dump beef sample waste and be disgusted by blood residues.. All have to be done at every hour until your shift ends.

This is not just it, tomorrow i'll be doing something different.. and mind you. I am hell READY for it!

It is not till now that I realized so many people actually care very much for me. My parents, my siblings, my boyfriend. My Dad especially had talked only on the phone with me for less than 10 minutes and it was the best 10 minutes talk I had with my dad. The most touching moment I experienced with my dad..

'Take it as a challenge, mei mei. Its hard to get a job now, and you made it and got it. Now that you got it, even if its difficult, its only 3 months. Put up with it, live through it. You know it is only going to make you stronger. 外面没有比家里好. If anything, dont hesititate to call home'.

When he said that, tears came rolling down on my cheek..

For my family members, who had loved me and trust in me, and for myself.. I will take this challenge, be strong and stronger. I will make good use of this opportunity. 

Bite my lips, live through it!

' What doesn't breaks me will only makes me stronger '

Greetings from South Dakota!

After 3++ hours of intense driving (and teng foong next to me always encouraging me), we reached my new apartment in South Dakota. Tomorrow i'll be car pooling with the other intern to BPI in Nebraska and I'll be back in Ames, Iowa during the weekend.

4 Days, 3 States.. XD

I can't wait! My internship at BPI will begin in 8 hours time. Although I don't really know what to expect, i'm sure things will fall into parts and it will turn out just fine. All I know about this internship is that IT IS GOING TO BE TOUGH, I'm scheduled to do all 3 shifts during this 10 weeks internship, in which means sleeping hours and eating habits is screwed up.

My beloved once said:

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how we dance in the rain."

"Its always hard to be kicked off your comfort zone" Ali said, but it is during these times where you learned to be better and stronger.

___________________________________________________________________________________
05-19-2009

my first day of work: orientation + Tour around the QA lab.

After a whole day of orientation, I just want to go home, rest and chat with Teng Foong.

I miss him already.. Really..

Ive got my red hard hat, safety glasses, stop watch, safety locks, flashlights, mask, a notebook, a pen, locker combination number and a pair of boots to walk around the facilities.

I am not very ready for tomorrow but i hope I'll built up some excitement and courage in me to be ready for my first internship tomorrow starting at 4pm. YES, you didn't see it wrong, my shift begins 4am, which means I'll be waking up while 202 is playing poker and leave for work while 202 is STILL playing poker.

God I miss Ames already, though I should be thankful that I'm offered a summer job but part of me wants to be in Ames with my friends and my love. I was told that I might have to work 7 days a week sometimes during my intern session, and working hours might goes up to 45 hours a week.Oh man, will I survive this, will summer just be work and work and work? I guess I could think positively and be happy with the good earnings. Besides, its only three months.. It will be good! =)

My dear wants me to think positively, he wants me to be happy. Therefore i'll make full use of this internship, learn about the industry and enjoy as much as i can.

I will do fine, I will do great!!


05-18-2009